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RE: Proposed announcement etc, 2.nd revision
On Mon, 7 Feb 2000, Gregory Leblanc wrote:
> > -----Original Message-----
> > From: Stein Gjoen [mailto:sgjoen@mail.nyx.net]
> > SYNOPSIS
> > The Linux Documentation Project, or LDP for short, pro-
> > vides free documentation, guides, FAQs, HOWTOs and mini-
> > HOWTOs and man-pages to the Linux community.
>
> I hate making comments like this, becuase I'm never confident that my
> English is better than anybody else's, but I'd re-phrase the above as:
> The Linux Documentation Project, or LDP for short, provides a variety of
> free documentation, including Guides, FAQs, HOWTOs and mini-HOWTOs, and
> man-pages for the Linux Community.
>
> Actually, looking at that, it's not any better, just a little different.
> Maybe a couple more people can tell me why my phrasing is bad.
It's not bad, but I would still change a bit:
The Linux Documentation Project (LDP) provides a variety of free
documentation resources including Guides, FAQs, HOWTOs, mini-HOWTOs, and
man-pages for the Linux Community.
The "(LDP)" is, I think, the best way to intro the abrrev :). The "variety
of ... documentation" just doesn't sit right. By making it "documenation
resources" it works better, but resources still isn't the correct word,
IMO. We don't need all of the commas for sub-phrases. And finally, "and
... and" combinations are really ugly. I think it would be better still to
combine the minis into the regular HOWTO category and get rid of the
double-category.
ciao,
der.hans
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